Back Then.

When we met as early teenagers, it was wrong place, wrong time.

Back then, I didn’t tell you that your smile made my heart melt. You smelled so sweet in the early morning class. Your hair was still slightly damp from your morning shower.

I could have loved you back then. I wanted to actually. But like I said, it was wrong place, wrong time.

When we connected at seventeen you gave me something I had never had before.

Stability.

You saved me.

You brought me back to reality. But into a fairy tale I used to to believe in. Something I didn’t think was possible.

And then you gave me my purpose. I became a mommy. With our love we created 3 lives together who challenge us everyday.

Back then, I had no idea that our love would create a foundation for the life we have today. We have something most people I think find hard to find, friendship.

You see we live a life that would bring most people to their knees. If I never publicly wrote about our struggles, most wouldn’t see it. They wouldn’t know. Special needs is a secretive world most don’t know about.

We have two special needs twin sons. They both require quite a bit of care. Lucas who has Cerebral Palsy and a feeding tube with speech Apraxia, is growing and progressing nicely at a slower speed than his peers. But he’s progressing.

We have our beautiful daughter Blakely who we prayed for, for years. She’s everything we wanted and more. There were years we didn’t think we’d ever be parents. We actually lost our first. And then this beautiful baby girl came into our lives. She has totally blessed us.

Then there is my Jameson. Our sweet middle son, who is Lucas twin, and has severe nonverbal Autism. He was given to my husband and I directly from God. He has blessed us in more ways than we can count even on his most challenging days.

Back then, did I ever imagine feeding my baby boy with a tube in his belly? Never. When I looked into your eyes during senior year of high school in English class, did I picture us protecting our son from banging his head against the wall over 11 years later? Not in a million years.

But you stayed.

We both do everyday.

Back then, I knew I loved you. I knew you were my best friend. And you still are today. Without our friendship our marriage wouldn’t be as strong as it is.

This life we live is HARD. Everyday, it’s hard. But with my husbands hand in mine, I know we’ll make it.

Thank you for not just being my husband, but for also being my friend.

Published by kasmith0827

I’m a stay at home mom to 3 children. A 4 year old girl and twin boys who are 3. Both of the twins are disabled. One has Cerebral Palsy, a feeding tube, speech apraxia and airway disorders. The other twin has severe nonverbal autism.

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